Read no further if you aren't willing to listen to me gush about my love for Daniel, but if you are in the mood for a little romantic overture, then please continue on and enjoy!
Therapy has been a sore spot with me since I began it at the end of 2010. However, recently it seems we have had somewhat of a breakthrough. I will try to keep this short, but in general we have discovered that I find it really difficult to trust and let people take care of me. For many reasons I have spent 32 years attempting to protect myself and be "perfect." I do not judge others by the same standard I judge myself (THAT bar is MUCH higher) and this has lead me to often look out for others and neglect my own needs.
All this being said, and neglecting much much more, I have come to realize great things about my relationship with Daniel. I am learning to trust, to let go and allow him take care of me. He has become my helper and the number one champion of frances. He does not hesitate to let me know when I am taking myself for granted and now that I have mostly stopped fighting him about it, I realize how good it feels. When I am with Daniel the world is easier. It does not weigh heavily on my shoulders. With him at my side I feel more in balance and able to dance instead of plodding along miserably. I have spent to many years "mothering" others. I am not used to letting someone in to take a bit of the burden. However, it is amazingly wonderful to have a partner that shares everything-- my success, my hurt, my joy, and my pain. I only hope that I can continue to learn to be the perfect partner for him, though I'm trying to settle for "almost perfect." :-)
I am not normally a mushy Valentine loving person. Generally this day goes by with nary a blip on my radar. But with all these personal discoveries and the interpersonal growth of our relationship, I can't help but let my cold heart thaw a bit this Valentine's Day. I want nothing more than to shower my love with gifts. (Both sexual and otherwise.) I long for a fancy dinner out, chocolates, and dare I say it, jewelry. Hell, I'd settle for a romantic movie on TV with Daniel cuddled up next to me on the couch. Since none of this can happen, THIS year, I honor him here with these feeble words. I hope he can see behind my fumbling scribbles to the intense emotion below. I love you baby. You are opening up my world in ways that I never imagined. Thank you and thanks for agreeing to be my valentine. I'll take a rain check for the rest. ;-)